Saturday, May 14, 2016

Love me. love my food.

Right from the time we are born, we care about being fed and who is taking care of that innate yearning for a full stomach, and the satisfaction that follows. Its the warmth, cuddle, and passion with which the mom breast feeds/ bottle feeds her child, that adds to the yearning. So food is undoubtedly connected with any close relationship that one has.How far we let this continue in our lives, depends on us, and how we condition ourselves to food.That feeling of satiety and satisfaction is common to both, a happy relationship and eating something we love. This I suppose, in a way, explains, why people binge eat when they fall out of any relationship. They substitute food with the fondness and affinity they got in the bond they shared with another person.
It has often been quoted that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, what's the way to a woman's heart? So its like men just don't want sex alone, they want good food too!  Many commercials show a happy home, where the woman is doing the cooking and feeding the family. Commercials of spices, or quick fix cooking through packaged foods, or more. The torch of lighting the flame of love, through food, in a home is in the hands of a woman or both the man as well as his better half. I wonder. Couples, who marry into different cultures, have to work on this aspect too, the food. Which restaurant to spend an amiable evening together? Veg, or non veg? Sea food or general? Seems like they ultimately come to an understanding, most of the times, and do not let food come in the way of their bond.
For little children food that is on the table, that is given in their lunch boxes, food that is packed for picnics, served during parties etc, defines their tastes. It is based on the delightful memories that they have of all or most of these events in their homes, where they were brought up. Meal times in a house, means time to communicate/connect with each other, time for a laugh, less a time to discuss serious issues. It's great if the meals are discussed and the burden of laying the table, clearing it, and even churning up a side dish, or a part of the main course, is shared by members of the family. It's a superb time to bond.  Sometimes children love to help their mom in the kitchen. They must be allowed to cooperate, gives them a feeling of camaraderie and builds their relationship with food, tastes, and family. So the important thing is to have healthy meals in the menu.
Another aspect about the partnership between food and love is that it has so often been connected with love making.

 "If you really want to make a friend, go to someone’s house and eat with him...the people who give you their food give you their heart." — Cesar Chavez
Something that I had read once said that great food is like having great sex, the more you have the more you want. When you eat a meal with your loved one, you're giving quality time to that person, you emphasize that its a personal moment for the two of you.
"Cooking is like love: It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." — Harriet van Horne
The association between food and love is undeniable. This is what I feel about this friendship, it's good if you let it thrive with a healthy air.   

Posted initially on my food blog

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Street food of Allahabad

My post on the food blog that I maintain, says a bit about my city too. Cross posting it here for those who follow this blog. It also has a slide on the monuments of the city made by my son and his friends when they were in school.
 You can add some favorite dishes of your city too, or if there are a few missing from the menu, for fellow pitch in. 

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Empowering Children-Where to Draw the Line? Posted by Varnika Kapoor on May 2, 2008

Tina's son, now eleven and a half years old, has reached the seventh grade. She is proud of her son, he is doing well in school, and has enough on hand the whole day, pursuing his hobbies. And all is going fine, she thanks God for this.. But a thought seems to be nagging her of late, She feels her son does not look as mature as his classmates, he seems to be blissfully unaware of this, and she notices that other parents who have same-age sons hand over much more responsibility to them. She on her part cannot make herself allow him to travel around in the city on his own,make him run errands for her. Children apparently love to perform small odd tasks for their parents, it makes them feel responsible. She is contemplating allowing her child to get more independent than he is now

Parents and teachers need to respect and recognize each child's abilities. They all mature at different stages. But at some point we have to allow them to make their own decisions. It does give them that feeling of accomplishment. It also allows the child's self esteem to grow. Besides we several times snub the child when he/she is giving his/her point of view, or taking part in a discussion, in a way curtailing the child's sense of confidence in himself. Whatever their opinion, we can at least make them feel that their ideas matter. In a sense children must be able to speak freely, without fear of repercussions.

Now, it is a fact that parents instinctively want to protect their children. So those who are "brave" enough to send their children to school on their own, for example, are looked upon as extra 'Daring". The other not-so-brave parents feel that times are bad, it was different during the years when they were growing up. Abductions, rape, road accidents and such, are on the increase, so why take the chance. Let the child grow up and he will learn all , in good time. Does this behavior hamper growth in children? Is it a fact that daring attitude in children, helps their horizons to widen? Is Tina's anxiety justified? Is it going to make her child feel like a lesser mortal among his very-independent peers? Is she exercising bad-parenting?

Maybe taking the middle path is the answer, maybe you could have your own view-point.. If you do, do put it forth..

Watch the video provided in the link and see if it changes your stand..Read the comments too, its got me thinking..
Related link :

Patriotism in the Curriculum Posted by Varnika Kapoor on September 17, 2007

I was just wondering how much of our curriculum is devoted to patriotism? How many children know about the heroes of war? How many do a follow up to see what the families are going through? Those who have fought and died while fighting, do we know about them? Do schools tell stories of their valour? To tell stories could kindle a feeling of inquisitiveness, to know more about those people who have actually left their homes, and loved ones to be at the border fighting and dying for us. If nothing, we would respect and love our country a little more and be proud citizens.

The youth today is so obsessed by their own selves that they , I feel, need to understand those youth who have given up their all for their country. I was happy to learn that my daughter is studying about 'History of Indian Independence' in her undergrad. course of B.Tech.But what about the heroes? Does the history syllabus in schools cater to this at all? I for one would like to know of schools who are taking note of this and have some portion of their syllabus dedicated to patriotism. There is so much of time and money spent by the media to cover the film world, what about sparing some more time to India and its people who are there at the front braving it all for us?

Why should we crib when children rush out of their country at the smallest given opportunity? Here is a poem, not written by an Indian, which I thought I would share it with you all:

Larry Vaincourt has been writing for many years and has been published across Canada and the United States; this poem was first published in 1987 in his newspaper column. There are several versions of this poem circulating the web containing errors; but what you see below is the original text. JUST A COMMON SOLDIER
(A Soldier Died Today)
by A. Lawrence Vaincourt
He was getting old and paunchy and his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion, telling stories of the past.
Of a war that he had fought in and the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies; they were heroes, every one.

And tho' sometimes, to his neighbors, his tales became a joke,
All his Legion buddies listened, for they knew whereof he spoke.
But we'll hear his tales no longer for old Bill has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer, for a soldier died today.

He will not be mourned by many, just his children and his wife,
For he lived an ordinary and quite uneventful life.
Held a job and raised a family, quietly going his own way,
And the world won't note his passing, though a soldier died today.

When politicians leave this earth, their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing and proclaim that they were great.
Papers tell their whole life stories, from the time that they were young,
But the passing of a soldier goes unnoticed and unsung.

Is the greatest contribution to the welfare of our land
A guy who breaks his promises and cons his fellow man?
Or the ordinary fellow who, in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his Country and offers up his life?

A politician's stipend and the style in which he lives
Are sometimes disproportionate to the service that he gives.
While the ordinary soldier, who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal and perhaps, a pension small.

It's so easy to forget them for it was so long ago,
That the old Bills of our Country went to battle, but we know
It was not the politicians, with their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom that our Country now enjoys.

Should you find yourself in danger, with your enemies at hand,
Would you want a politician with his ever-shifting stand?
Or would you prefer a soldier, who has sworn to defend
His home, his kin and Country and would fight until the end?

He was just a common soldier and his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us we may need his like again.
For when countries are in conflict, then we find the soldier's part
Is to clean up all the troubles that the politicians start.

If we cannot do him honor while he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage at the ending of his days.
Perhaps just a simple headline in a paper that would say,
Our Country is in mourning, for a soldier died today.

Sunday, September 27, 2015


They scratch on sofas and mattresses, sharpening their nails,
They peep out of empty cartons, and are playful with bales.
They perch on the topmost point of your house, 
calling outsiders, asking them to be spotted. 
They stretch out their paws to little children,
adoringly wanting them to be friends.
They are Banks and Sansa, my two four year old kittens.
The kind hearted creatures 
with gentle souls and intelligent eyes,
are peaceful souls with The Buddha highs.
These enchanting beings go about the house, busy as bumble bees,
eagerly looking for freebies.
Their food tray must be full, they announce,
a portion gone, and there you'll see them trounce.
They come and squat close to you affectionately, asking for nothing 
just being a friend eloquently.
They are sprightly too,
and run around the house,
playing catch em catch,
with the butt-wiggle and pounce mode,
proudly announcing the cat family code.  
Banks, the family cat, and Sansa, the touch-me-not,
are attractive, dreamy, delightful cats,
and I wish them well.
They have found a new home, 

of animal lovers, and I pray that they find their paradise.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Virtually Virtual

What I am trying to say here,
is that with us you must bear,
We are the post y2k people,
In virtual dealings we do dabble.
Things like body language and eye contacts,
is a concept of the past,
you gotta get this straight or online you wont last.
You meet me on our common ground,
and I daresay that's a social network,
will see you around there,
you be wearing my fav sweatshirt.
We'll romp, n play,
tease and  go astray.
You whisper love notes,
While I'll send you songs,
to thee I so lovingly devote.
We'll chat for hours,
each looking at the stars,
getting all dreamy,
yeah!! Its getting to be so steamy,
My thoughts and actions all tilting towards becoming a virtual junkie,
My real friends are all gone,
I am goggle eyed,
I walk around like a zombie.
It was the constant nagging of my loved ones,
annoyed at my net hours were they so,
they are mine and so refuse to let go.
They stayed by me, not leaving my side,
till I gave up the drive to be on the website,
that I fathomed was my friend and guide.
They pulled me out from my delusion,
the hyper-cyberspace might come crashing in my life,
was my conclusion.
We gotta use it wisely, I surmised,
for something I was so zealously chastised.
Upon hindsight I feel that was a matchless blessing they could bestow.
I let the days pass,
using my will and acumen,
my  "thinking feeling" machine,
I realized is not human.
So I decided to meet up,
the online guy I perceived I loved,
Why not bring our passions and fondness face to face,
and hush all those who imagined we were fake?
And I go online,
I don't see you there?
and then, my heart racing I type his name,
oh halt !! My sensibilities said,
He is gone outta the frame!!
They talked of blocking people they did not want,
I had heard,
So it was all a dumb game!!
Brokenhearted  I bawled barrels,
till the seat of my soul boomed out a tumultuous roar,
Oh! But it sounded like a peaceful carol,
I realized I virtually wanted no more,
of such associations.
Attraction if it must be,
a real guy from the real world I foresee,
who will hold my hand and tell me,
all that I yearn to hear,
and will set my sentiments in a flurry.
As for the online guy,
ha!!Some poor girl, again it must be,
in her sweatshirt that he so wants to see.

Monday, May 20, 2013


Make peace not war,
Love don't abhor .
Go celebrate!! Live life to its fullest,
Its a short life given to you to live in zest.
Do the Buddha!! Give up the angst,
peace brings prosperity,
I say that in all sincerity.
Go Party!! hook up!!
dance the rap!!
Don't let no one mess up.
Smash it and rock it!!
Who can stop you? Don't bottle it!!
Believe in your dreams,
dream them big,
stop not till it makes you do a gig .
React not to toxic crap,
or to people with polluted souls,
De oxygenate them,
they will find their own sound hole.
Get into action,
get moving! Life will pass by in just a blinkin'
Fear not, be bold,
strike your chest n cut out the cold!!
Hey! a minute here, the other gone,
hold on to those precious moments,
'coz on them you can count on.
People change, and that's a fact,
accept that quick,
before it hits you point blank!!
Life is fun, playful and amusing,
But our share of woes, 
is something that we never chose,
deal with it valiantly,
lets not make it too confusing.
Keep your faith alive,
Because that is when life will give you a high five !!